El TDAH y la Familia

ROA EDUCACIÓN
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¿ES LA AUTOESTIMA EL MOTOR DE NUESTRO COMPORTAMIENTO?

Publicado el 15 de marzo de 2014por roaeducacion (Con permiso de la autora).

ROA EDUCACIÓN
Roa educación

Apuntes sesión segunda para Escuela de Padres de ATELMA (Taller de desarrollo Emocional)

La autoestima (lo que una persona siente por sí misma) está relacionada con el conocimiento propio (lo que una persona piensa de sí misma) y se siente obligada a actuar expresando estas dos facetas. En un individuo puede detectarse su autoestima por lo que hace y cómo lo hace. Existen tres buenos motores:

– Actuar para obtener una mayor satisfacción y creerse mejor. Por ejemplo, buscar alabanzas eludiendo tareas en las que podría fallar y haciendo aquellas en las que está seguro.

– Actuar para confirmar la imagen que los demás, y él mismo, tienen de sí. Por ejemplo, si una persona cree ser un buen futbolista, querrá jugar al fútbol a la menor oportunidad. Si por el contrario cree que se le da mal el bricolaje, arreglará mal ciertas cosas del hogar y dirá que es por azar cualquier mejoría que experimente en esta afición.

– Actuar para ser coherente con la imagen que tiene de sí, por mucho que cambien las circunstancias. Para el individuo es muy difícil cambiar algo de sí mismo que afecte a alguna de sus ideas básicas y posibilite un comportamiento diferente.

Estos tres motores influyen en el comportamiento del individuo y suelen manifestarse simultáneamente.

CARACTERISTICAS DE LOS INDIVIDUOS CON ALTA AUTOESTIMA:

-Valora sus éxitos.

-Desea mantener relaciones con los otros.

-Toma iniciativas.

-Afronta nuevos retos.

-Es capaz de asumir responsabilidades.

-Actúa con independencia y con decisión propia.

-Sabe superar los fracasos, muestra tolerancia a la frustración.

-Muestra amplitud de emociones y sentimientos.

CON BAJA AUTOESTIMA:

-Desprecia sus aptitudes.

-Tiene miedo a relacionarse, siente que no será aceptado.

-Sin iniciativas, necesita la guía de los otros.

-Tiene miedo a los nuevos retos.

-Tiene miedo a asumir responsabilidades.

-Es dependiente de aquellas personas que considera superiores, se deja influir.

-Tiene poca tolerancia a la frustración, se pone a la defensiva fácilmente.

-Muestra estrechez de emociones y sentimientos.

¿ES CIERTO QUE LA AUTOESTIMA POSITIVA CONSISTE EN VERNOS COMO “PERSONAS MARAVILLOSAS” DOTADAS DE LAS MÁS PRECIADAS CUALIDADES, A LAS QUE TODO NOS VA BIEN Y EL ÉXITO NOS ACOMPAÑA PERMANENTEMENTE?, ¿HABLAMOS EN ESTE CASO, DE VERDADERA AUTOESTIMA O SE TRATA DE UNA “PSEUDOAUTOESTIMA” MUY COMÚN Y FÁCIL DE IDENTIFICAR EN NUESTROS ENTORNOS?

 Según Nathaniel Branden “Si puedo aceptar que soy quien soy, que siento lo que siento, que hice lo que hice, -si puedo aceptarlo, me guste o no-, puedo aceptarme a mí mismo. Puedo aceptar mis defectos, las dudas con respecto a mí mismo, mi baja autoestima. Y una vez que puedo aceptar todo esto (estoy del lado de la realidad, no contra ella) entonces tengo libre el camino para comenzar a fortalecer mi autoestima.”

Una autoestima sana implica una valoración objetiva y realista de nosotros mismos, aceptándonos tal como somos y desarrollando sentimientos positivos hacia nosotros mismos. Es preciso no olvidar dos cosas:

– Que la autoestima positiva no consiste en verse como una persona maravillosa, dotada de las más preciadas cualidades, a la que todo le va bien y a la que el éxito acompaña permanentemente. Lo verdaderamente importante es tener una percepción y valoración objetivas y positivas de uno mismo y aceptarse como es y con todo lo que es, con sus aspectos positivos y negativos, con sus aciertos y sus errores y con sus logros y sus limitaciones…

– Que, en contra de lo que muchos creen y de lo que aparece escrito en bastantes lugares, cambiar la autoestima negativa es una tarea difícil, que puede necesitar la intervención de algún especialista.

El mejor camino para desarrollar una autoestima positiva es crear un clima de relaciones personales en el que la persona experimente seguridad, respeto, aceptación y libertad para actuar; donde sienta la amistad y el apoyo de los demás y donde tenga unas metas a lograr bien definidas y unos criterios de conducta objetivos, donde pueda tener experiencias nuevas y equivocarse sin temer consecuencias negativas y donde no tenga que autoprotegerse, distorsionando para ello la visión y valoración de sí mismo.

ASPECTOS NECESARIOS  PARA EL DESARROLLO DE NUESTRA AUTOESTIMA DESDE QUE SOMOS NIÑOS.

La autoestima es un sentimiento que surge de la SATISFACCION que experimentamos cuando somos niños  y se han dado en nuestra vida ciertas condiciones. Pero si existen ciertas carencias, no se desarrollan en totalidad los siguientes aspectos que constituyen el fundamento de nuestra autoestima:

– VINCULACIÓN: Consecuencia de la satisfacción que obtiene el niño al establecer vínculos que son importantes para él y que los demás reconocen como importantes. Por ejemplo, formar parte del grupo de clase, pertenecer a una familia…

– SINGULARIDAD: Resultado del conocimiento y respeto que el niño siente por las cualidades o atributos que le hacen especial o diferente, apoyado por el respeto y la aprobación que recibe de los demás por esas cualidades. Por ejemplo, saber que él es alguien especial para…, saber expresarse a su manera…

– PODER. Consecuencia de que el niño disponga de los medios, de las oportunidades y de la capacidad de modificar las circunstancias de su vida de manera significativa. Por ejemplo, creer que normalmente puede hacer lo que planea, sentir que tiene a su cargo algunas responsabilidades importantes en su vida…

– PAUTAS DE GUÍA: Que reflejen la habilidad del niño para referirse a los ejemplos  humanos, filosóficos y prácticos adecuados que le sirvan para establecer su escala de valores, sus objetivos, ideales y exigencias personales. Por ejemplo,  saber qué personas pueden servir de modelo a su comportamiento, desarrollar  su capacidad de distinguir lo bueno de lo malo…

Ninguno de estos cuatro aspectos es más importante que el resto. Los niños con autoestima positiva poseen buenos vínculos, se saben singulares, tienen modelos que les guían y sensación de poder manejar su vida.

CÓMO MEJORAR EL GRADO DE VINCULACION EN LA FAMILIA:

-Dar oportunidades para que todos los componentes de la familia trabajen y jueguen juntos.

-Establecer reglas para toda la familia que mejoren el grado de vinculación.

-Dar oportunidades para que los componentes de la familia compartan con los demás sus asuntos personales.

-Clarificar los papeles de los componentes de la familia.

-Fomentar las soluciones positivas de los problemas que surjan entre los miembros de la familia.

CÓMO MEJORAR EL GRADO DE SINGULARIDAD  DENTRO DE LA FAMILIA:

-La organización del espacio dentro de la casa puede influir positivamente sobre la singularidad.

-Estimular con premios el buen comportamiento.

-Tener en cuenta las habilidades, las dotes o los intereses especiales de cada niño cuando se distribuyan tareas o trabajos.

CÓMO MEJORAR EL GRADO DE PODER DENTRO DE LA FAMILIA Y REDUCIR SU CONFLICTIVIDAD:

-Los padres no deben cambiar las reglas sin discusión o sin previo aviso.

-Los componentes de la familia deben participar en las decisiones importantes que les afectan.

-Es necesaria la existencia de algún sistema para resolver las quejas.

-Es necesario estimular a los hijos para que acepten retos más complicados mayores responsabilidades.

-Se deben distribuir los recursos de la familia entre sus distintos componentes de una manera equitativa.

-Los padres dejarán  claramente definido que ellos son los responsables de los niños y cuáles son las decisiones que ellos pueden tomar solos.

CÓMO MEJORAR LOS MODELOS Y LAS PAUTAS DENTRO DE LA FAMILIA:

-Comunicarse con claridad.

-Decir a los niños lo que se espera de ellos.

-Planificar las actividades diarias con organización.

-Mantener el orden en las tareas familiares.

TDAH-FAMILIA-EDUCACIÓN-PEDAGOGÍA

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